


There Was The Poetry

by ashilrak



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Ficlet Collection, M/M, Minimal warnings, Untagged unless requested
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2018-12-01 20:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 11,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11493849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashilrak/pseuds/ashilrak
Summary: A collection of the hamburr ficlets I've posted on tumblr





	1. ...or we could make out...

The day was a mess - everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. Aaron’s phone charger hadn’t been plugged into the wall so his phone died and his alarm didn’t go off, and he was late to work. He had decided that since he was already late, it wouldn’t hurt to take a couple more minutes, and had gone to get coffee at a nearby Starbucks.

The coffee tasted burnt, and Aaron was reminded why he didn’t like Starbucks in the first place.

He was just walking into the building when the lady he had thought was holding the door open for him had decided he was taking too long and had let go, leaving it to slam in his face. The impact had caused him to spill his coffee, and so he went into work late with a large coffee stain going down his front. 

His assistant greeted him when he walked in, saying that his first meeting of the day had shown up twenty minutes early and was starting to get frustrated after waiting for an hour. 

The meeting went terribly. Maria Reynolds was going through the process of filing for divorce, and her emotions were at a high and Aaron was tired and frustrated and while he tried his best to force their way through the papers that needed to be signed, she ended up snapping at him for taking too long, and he snapped back.

There were tears in her eyes when she left his office, and Aaron felt a slight pull at his heartstrings, and ignored it.

The day continued much in that manner, and it was with a sigh of relief that he sat down on his couch in his apartment, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Of course, that didn’t last long as it was interrupted by loud knocking at his door. 

The face that greeted him when he opened it was none other than Alexander Hamilton, one of his co-workers.

“Why the hell are you here, Hamilton?”

“Reynolds came back into the office to get some stuff taken care of, and you weren’t answering your phone. I ended up taking care of what I could, but you never answer your phone, so I got worried.”

Aaron sighed, and opened the door to let the other man in, “You got worried, so you came to my apartment, where I live.”

Hamilton chuckled as he sat his bag down on the entryway table, “Well, it’s not out of the way, and it’s not like I’m not here frequently anyway.”

He sat down on the couch, and felt the cushion sink when Hamilton sat next to him, thighs touching. 

“Well, I’m fine, as you can see. Today was simply a long day. I’m not in the mood to cook or keep you entertained, so please leave me alone to my individual misery.”

When Aaron turned his head, he found that Hamilton’s face was mere inches away from his own, “Or, I could not do that, and we could make out instead.”

That was not what Aaron expected to hear, but he didn’t pull away as he said, “We’re not in college anymore, Hamilton. We can’t just make out like teenagers because we’re bored.”

“Why not?”

Next thing Aaron knew, Hamilton was straddling him, and his hands found their way to their other man’s hips. They looked at each other for a moment, and then Hamilton leaned down to connect their lips.


	2. Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough. (Participation medals of the heart).

Aaron knew he wasn’t the only one that saw Alexander’s light - anyone with a semblance of sight could. Alexander burned and attracted brilliance to him like moths to a flame. 

He had thought he had lucked out, getting him as a roommate. He didn’t have to try to fight to get noticed, and the conversations they had more than made up for all of Alexander’s quirks he had to put up with. 

It was easier to fall in love with Alexander once bathed in his light. Aaron could see affection in the eyes of everyone, and he recognized it in his own heart.

Every night, when they’d lie on their sides of the room, Alexander’s voice would fill the air alongside the sound of typing and Aaron woud try to summon up the courage to tell Alex how he felt. 

He never did.

But, at some point along the way, John Laurens was braver than Aaron had any hope of being, and Alex’s words started to center around Laurens. Everytime Aaron heard Alex say the name, it was like a pin being stuck through his heart.


	3. Are you happy? Huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!

The fury was an icy cold spreading through his veins, the paper balled up in his hand. No one stopped him on the way in, and Aaron didn’t knock when he opened the door to Hamilton’s office. He shut it behind him, making no sound.

He inhaled a breath through his nose and took a step forward, slamming the paper on the cluttered desk. “What were you thinking?”

Hamilton was tired, Aaron could see it in the set of his shoulders and the dark circles under his eyes. “It was necessary.”

“Necessary.” He closed his eyes, balling his hand into a fist. “You think this was necessary?” He met Hamilton’s eyes.

Hamilton nodded, eyes narrowing. 

Aaron straightened. “What about your wife? Your family? Have you thought of any of the consequences here, Alexander?”

Hamilton stood up, the chair scraping on the floor. “You heard what they were saying about me, Burr! I couldn’t let it go on! My legacy was at stake.”

“Oh, your legacy. It always goes back to that, doesn’t it.” He turned around, hands flexing at his sides. “Are you happy? Does this make you happy?”

He heard heard against the wood floor and a hand closed around his wrist. “Aaron, don’t leave me, not you too.”

The tears burned at the corners of his eyes and he blinked them away. “No. We can’t do this anymore, Alexander. It should have ended years ago, don’t you think? But now, this, this is the final straw.”

Alexander’s grip tightened, trying to pull him back. “What do you mean? We’ve done so much, we belong together, you can’t leave me now, Burr. I need you.”

He took in another breath and whispered. “If you’ve done this to yourself and the family you value so much, I fear what you’ll be able to do to me with only a stroke of a pen and a thought.”

Aaron pulled his arm away and left, Hamilton’s last words echoing in his ears.


	4. You say you love me. So what? You wouldn’t be the first and you certainly won’t be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -blood, murder, thrall/mind control-

“What makes you so special? People come here day after day vying for my attention, what makes you different from the rest of them? 

Alexander was on the ground before him, kneeling, eyes watering. “I love you.”

Aaron sneered. “You say you love me. So what? You wouldn’t be the first and you certainly won’t be the last.”

A sob left the body at his feet. “You’ve been my only constant, Burr. I know I might be a single person among the hundreds that beg for the smallest shred of your attention, but they all have other options, other ways to go. You’re my only hope. You’ve been with me from day one, or rather, I’ve been with you. I didn’t know who you were, not really.”

Aaron chuckled. “No, you didn’t. It was refreshing.”

Alexander nodded. “Without you, I have nothing. Everything I have achieved is meaningless without you. I always through you were magnificent, brilliant. But, the more I’ve discovered, about who you truly are, I’m filled you awe. You’re beautiful, Aaron Burr, and I am in love with every part of you.”

“I could kill you and you wouldn’t know until you were already dead.”

“It’d be an honor to die at your hand.”

Aaron smiled. “The words you’ve always had such skill with, the words that caught my attention in the first place, you still use them now.”

“They’re all I have left. You’ve taken everything else. I would have given it to you, you know, had you asked.” Alexander’s eyes were earnest.

“Yes, I suppose you would have.” Aaron stood up and walked closer to Alexander. “You would have killed your own wife and children just for me, if you thought it’d get me to spend time with you.”

Alexander sobbed, but nodded. “Yes, yes I would have. I am but a fleeting moment in your life, but I would sacrifice everything I am to be that fleeting moment.”

Aaron bent down and reached his hand into Alexander’s hair and yanked Alexander’s head back. “Why?”

“You’ve shaped me into who I am, Burr. You’ve been with me every step of the way. We were friends, soldiers, we even worked together. I didn’t know who you were, what you were, but I was in love with you nonetheless. Even then had you asked me to leave everything behind, I might have. My love for you is what has pushed me forward.”

He traced a fingernail down Alexander’s cheek. “Did you still love me when you saw me standing over your wife’s lifeless corpse, blood dripping from my mouth? Did you still love me when you found your children’s bodies empty of blood and life? Did you still love me when I kissed you, Alexander? The taste of their blood sweet on my tongue?”

Alexander closed his eyes and sobbed again, body shaking. “Y-yes.”

“Why’d you come back here, Alexander? Crawling on your hands and knees, knowing it is I who took everything from you? I am the reason the world is chasing after you, wanting to burn you at the stake like some sort of witch. Why do you come back, desperate for my attention?”

Another sob. “I love you, Aaron Burr. If you want me to go out there and let myself burn, I will, and I will do it with my heart full of love for you.”

He let go of the thrall, felt Alexander go limp under his hands. “Even now?”

Alexander’s eyes were glassy, and Aaron watched as the fogginess was blinked away. Alexander licked his lips. “Yes, even now.”

Aaron’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“Because I love you. I always have, and I always will.”


	5. Office Sex

There was a line Aaron liked to keep between his work and private life. Alexander liked to blur that line and cross it enough that it almost didn’t exist.

The break room was empty at this time of the evening, long after most had gone home for the day. Aaron grabbed his cup of tea and moved to go back to his desk. 

A familiar face stood in the way. 

Aaron sighed. “Hello, Alex. What are you still doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

He looked down at the mug in his hands. “I was getting tea. I’m almost done with my report, and after that’s finished I’m going back home.”

Alex took a step closer. “There’s not much time for me in there, you know.”

“Is there supposed to be?”

“Well,” Alex smirked. “I’d appreciate it if there was.”

He raised a brow in question. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

The mug was taken from his hands and placed on the small counter, and Alex stepped even closer, backing him against the wall. “I have a couple of ideas.”

“This is hardly the place or time.”

Alex pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, right over his pulse point. “What do you mean?”

“This is the break room. This is where we work. We’re not having sex in the office.”

Aaron looked down to see that Alex had dropped to his knees. “Are you sure?”

“Alex.”

Hands rested moved up his thighs. “Yes?”

“Make it quick.”

Alex made quick work of pushing down his pants and boxers. “Oh, that’s not a problem.”

He groaned and leaned his head against the wall. “You know you’re too good at this.”

Lips moved along the side of his hardening cock and he heard a humming sound.


	6. He/She can't do it like I do. That's why you keep coming back.

It was with a self-satisfied smirk on his face that Alex said, “She can’t do it like I do. That’s why you keep coming back.”

Aaron froze for a second before zipping and buttoning his pants. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stretched his arms above his head, fingers tracing the pattern in the headboard. “I’ve been thinking about it. I mean, I know you love her. It wasn’t really making sense why you decided to keep this up.”

“Are you complaining?”

Alex shook his head. “Not at all. I like seeing you, you know, whether or not we get naked.”

Aaron frowned. “Then what does it matter?”

“Because I wanted to know why.”

Aaron turned to face him, torso still bare. “Why I come back to you doesn’t matter, just like it doesn’t matter why you let me despite being married to your own wife and completely enchanted with your children. The less we think about it, the better.”

“I disagree.” Alex sat up. “I think it’s important. I’m totally the last person to offer you marriage advice, but something’s wrong if you keep doing this.”

“You’re right, you’re the last person to offer me marriage advice.” 

Aaron turned around and pulled on his shirt. Alex laughed. “I’m just saying. So, what is it? What do I have that your dear Theodosia doesn’t?”

“Nothing. You have nothing she doesn’t, beside the obvious.”

“Then why?”

Aaron ducked his head. “Because she’s dying, Alex. My wife is dying, and I need a constant, and for some unknown reason, that constant is you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. Oh.”


	7. I can resist anything except temptation

Alexander knew the words that followed him, Adams’ and others’ names and descriptions echoing in his ears as he went about his days. Most things he had no problem denying.

Most things was not all things, and as Aaron Burr walked across the room, he was reminded of that which he couldn’t deny. There was something about the very way that Burr moved, the way Burr spoke, the way Burr even breathed that made Alexander want to see how Burr looked at his peak. And he wanted to be the one to get Burr there.

Every day, he’d force himself to look away and to think of other things. It only made him want Burr more.

At this point in their lives, Alexander was sure that Burr knew just what he was doing. Late hours didn’t need to be spent in such close quarters, and for a man whose every action held purpose, there was no reason for Burr to lick and bite at his lips so often.

Aaron Burr cornered him the day he finally gave in. It was the middle of the day, and Burr had asked for a word. They were alone in a room, much too close as they always were. Aaron’s fingers brushed his, and something within Alexander broke. “Burr.”

“Alexander.” The corner of Burr’s lips were uplifted, and not a single clear thought crossed Alexander’s mind before he connected their mouths. 

Burr was more enthusiastic in this than he was in anything else, and Alexander felt the satisfaction he had chased after for so long curl in his chest. “Years, Burr, years I’ve wanted to do that.”

“What took you so long?”


	8. first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

Alexander knew that he had earned his position, but that knowledge didn’t get rid of the tight feeling in his chest. This was his dream job - what he had been dreaming of since before he even stepped into his first college class. He had spent years building up his resume and creating a reputation for himself and it had all paid off. Alexander pressed the right button for his floor in the elevator and bounced on his toes, tossing his phone between his hands. This was the first stepping stone of what he was determined to make a brilliant future. He was going to achieve something, needed to achieve something worth remembering. 

The elevator dinged, and Alexander stepped off with two others onto the eleventh floor. He looked around, breathed it in, and stepped forward. This was where he was going to be spending most of his time from this moment on, he might as well get used to it now. It smelled like any other office, paper and ink and the desperation of the interns and assistants as they scurried along with boiling hot coffee in their hands. 

He had been told to go see his supervisor - a man named Burr - before anything else. A man Alexander vaguely recognized stood waiting for him. “Alexander Hamilton?” Alexander stepped forward, shaking the offered hand. “I’m Jonathan Bellamy, we met briefly during one of your interviews, and we talked on the phone. I’ll be taking you to Mr. Burr’s office.”

“Sounds great,” Alexander said, smiling. He straightened his jacket and fell into step beside Bellamy. 

Burr’s office was in the back corner, glass walls. Bellamy opened the door and shot him a small grin, “he’s expecting you. Welcome to Washington Co., Mr. Hamilton. We’re happy to have you. I expect I’ll see you around.”

“See you around.”

The door shut behind them, and the clamor of an office at work was gone, leaving only silence. Alexander looked around the office - it was well-decorated, if impersonal. 

He heard the shuffling of papers, and someone cleared their throat and said, “Ah, Mr. Hamilton, it’s great to meet you. Come, sit down.”

Alexander shuffled over and sat in one of the leather chairs on the other side of Burr’s desk. He settled his hands flat against his thighs and looked up. Alexander wasn’t sure who he had pictured in place of his new boss, but it sure as hell wasn’t Aaron from last weekend. He choked.

Burr looked up from the papers in front of him, and Alexander could see the moment Aaron recognized him. Aaron’s eyes widened the smallest bit, and his voice cracked when he asked, “Alex?” 

Alexander bit his lip and nodded slowly. “Yep.” He took Burr in. Aaron was wearing a light grey suit - polished. He looked good. Aaron took in a deep breath. “So, I know you’re probably thinking this this is so not appropriate right now, because it really isn’t. But, I think we’re both mature adults that can get over it. We don’t have to think of this ever again. I worked hard for this job and I’m not going to give it up before it even starts just because-”

“Hamilton,” Burr interrupted him. “This goes beyond what’s ‘so not appropriate.’ We had sex in the bathroom of a shady gay bar, this can not be the basis of our professional relationship. And no matter how much we might try to protest, that’s what it will always be.”

He smirked and said, “nice to know I’m not forgettable.”

“Oh, forgettable is the last thing you are,” Aaron muttered. He shook his head and continued, “but that’s not the point. I am your boss, your direct superior. This is a conflict of interest of some sort, I’m sure.”

Alexander shook his head. “Nope. We might not be able to pretend it never happened, and I don’t really want to, it was fun.” He raised his hand when Burr opened his mouth. “But Mr. Burr, sir, I was hired for this position because I am well-suited for it. I’m assuming that I was your best candidate - I had to be your best candidate.”

Burr nodded. “Humble, aren’t you.”

“I don’t really want to go looking for another job, and I haven’t even started yet. Like you said, you’re my boss, we’re hardly going to be working in close quarters. If you still can’t go over it in a month or two, figure it out then. But, until then, can we at least go about the situation like adults?”

Burr leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “This will be very bad if someone finds out, Hamilton.”

Alexander shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know how anyone would - unless you went around telling everyone about your grindr hookup last weekend.”

“Fine,” Burr said, nodded. He looked at Alexander for a moment. “Fine. Well, in that case, welcome to Washington Co,. I’m Aaron Burr, and I’ll be your direct supervisor.” Burr extended his hand over the desk for a handshake.

Alexander took it, smiling.

He’d be professional about it, but if he let his eyes drop down to Aaron’s lips as he leaned forward, that was just something they were going to have to deal with. Burr wouldn’t know what hit him.


	9. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

There was something charming about Hamilton when he was irritated, something about the narrowed eyes and dangerous spark that made Aaron want to run his hands through Hamilton’s hair and keep him there. 

He had made a game of it, trying to figure out what it was that made that look come back, prodding buttons until Aaron figured out which ones set Hamilton off the quickest. It hadn’t taken very long to master. 

Hamilton thrived on attention, required it like a drowning man needed oxygen. Hamilton’s voice would fill the air, the man narrating his thoughts as he struggled to choose the right words to make his point. Nothing energized the man more than the occasional hums of agreement and commentary, refuting and discussing the arguments until they were ironclad. Aaron remained silent, letting Hamilton’s voice wash over him without any sign of acknowledgement.

Like a cat, Hamilton had started to lash out. He’d ‘forget’ to grab something Aaron had asked for, would hand him the wrong file by ‘mistake’, would knock a pile of his papers onto the floor while ‘lost in thought.’ Each and every time Aaron would smile and say, “oh, it’s fine, no damage done.”

There was always a part that wanted to lash out back, make Hamilton suffer the same way. But when he smiled calmly instead of letting the irritation show, Hamilton would puff up, start to step forward as if intending to instigate something.

Weeks passed like that, and Aaron wore a near constant smirk on his face, the feeling of Hamilton’s eyes on his back a regular companion. 

Aaron had expected Hamilton would reach some sort of breaking point, so it was no surprise when he found himself backed into a corner, the dangerous glint in Hamilton’s eyes, promising words and actions Aaron had spent hours imagining.

He smiled and said, “Alexander, how lovely it is to see you today. Is there anything you need?

Hamilton stepped closer, less than a foot of space separating them. Aaron’s hand twitched with the urge to run it down the side of Hamilton’s face but he ignored it, just as he had been doing to Hamilton. “Burr, there is something we need to discuss.”

He raised a brow and said, “Oh? Whatever could you mean?”

Hamilton inched closer, and Aaron was filled with anticipation. Hamilton’s eyes narrowed. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Aaron’s eyes dropped down to Hamilton’s mouth, lips pulled back into something resembling a snarl more than a grin, and then looked back up to meet Hamilton’s gaze. “And what is that, sir?”

Hamilton’s hand went up against the wall by his head, and Hamilton stepped even closer. “You’ve been ignoring me. Have I done something to offend you?”

There was a hair falling out of Hamilton’s queue. Aaron’s fingers twitched again, longing to shove it behind Hamilton’s ear. “No, you’ve done nothing to offend me. What could have possibly made you think that?”

“Because this is the first proper conversation we’ve had in months, and I literally have you backed against a wall.” Hamilton voice was low, trying to make the point while much too close for a raised volume. It was a good pitch on Hamilton. 

Aaron smiled. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Hamilton’s shoulders tensed, and Aaron’s smile grew wider. He was getting to Hamilton, he could see it. Hamilton stepped closer, and Aaron raised his hand to Hamilton’s chest - preventing Hamilton from stepping closer, perhaps, but Aaron flattened his hand against the fabric of Hamilton’s waistcoat, feeling the texture under his fingers. It was hardly an acceptable touch between men who worked together. Aaron licked his lips.

“Burr,” Hamilton said, eyes now wide, “what are you doing?”

Aaron’s hand slid higher, playing with the fabric of Hamilton’s cravat. “I don’t know, what am I doing?”

Hamilton bit his lip, and Aaron made a show of his eyes dropping down again, looking over Hamilton’s face. His other hand rose up to push the piece of hair behind Hamilton’s ear.

“What do you want? You don’t talk to me for months and now this?” Hamilton asked, voice breathy.

He sighed and tilted his head down. “I’ve talked to you plenty, you just haven’t been paying enough attention.”

“Huh?” Hamilton’s brows rose.

Aaron leaned closer, his breath ghosting over Hamilton’s lips. “If you had, I’m sure we would have been doing this a lot sooner.”

“What are-”

He pressed his lips to Hamilton’s, a gentle touch, and pulled away. 

Hamilton blinked. “Oh.” Hamilton’s hand curled itself around the fabric of Aaron’s jacket and pulled him closer. “Do that again.”


	10. Whats the matter?

Aaron had a folder bursting in one hand, and two hot to-go cups of coffee in the other. It was a balancing act he had mastered during his first stint as an intern, and one that had continued to be handy in his own career.

He pushed down on the handle of Hamilton’s door and used his shoulder to push it open. There was a case he needed to discuss, and Hamilton was always easier to deal with when he had a hot cup of coffee in hand. 

The fact that the door was closed in the first place should have been a sign that something was wrong, but it wasn’t a sign Aaron paid attention to. Instead, he kicked the door shut behind him, and turned around to find Hamilton sitting in the chair with someone’s head between his legs and Hamilton’s fingers twisted around distinctive strands of hair.

Aaron would have turned around and pretended he didn’t see anything had Hamilton not noticed him and said, “ah Burr, I’m a little, ah, busy at the moment.”

He cleared his throat. “I couldn’t tell. I’ll just, ah,” he turned around on his heel, the folder falling from his hands, “get going.”

“No need to rush, Burr,” Hamilton said, voice breathy. 

Aaron kneeled on the ground, set the coffees to the side and started to gather the papers. “No, I’m going to leave and forget I saw this, if that’s okay.”

Hamilton moaned. “Ah, what’s the matter Burr? Don’t like seeing a man enjoy his lunch break?”

He stood up, and leaving the coffees on the floor, left Hamilton’s office. “See me when you’re done.”

“Won’t, ah, be long, oh-” Aaron caught a bit of what Hamilton said before he shut the door behind him.

Less than ten minutes later there was a knock on Aaron’s door, and he looked up to find Hamilton leaning against the frame. Aaron raised a brow and said, “Hello, nice to see you decent, for once.”

Hamilton laughed, throwing his head back. “Please, do judge me. Besides,” Hamilton stepped into his office and shut the door, “we both know it’d be a lot more fun if it was you instead of Jefferson.”

“Oh, really?”

“Wait.” Hamilton sat down and narrowed his eyes, looking at him. “Nope, never mind. I’d definitely be the one on my knees.”

Aaron coughed and looked down at the papers in front of him. “This is hardly appropriate discussion. I have a case I need to talk with you about.”

Hamilton’s hand moved to cover his own. “Be that as it may, know that the offer is always out there.” 

He swallowed, meeting Hamilton’s gaze for a short second. He looked back down at the papers. “Moving on.”


	11. Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?

It wasn’t something Aaron had planned on, but here he was, alone in the bar bathroom with Alex. He had come straight from work, still wearing his suit, tie off and top buttons of his shirt undone. 

Alex had taken one look at him, eyes going wide, before Alex had taken his hand and started to drag him away from their friends.

He had Alex backed against the wall, his hands holding Alex’s wrists at his side. “Why are you so impatient? I didn’t even get the chance to say hello.”

Alex bit his lip, looking at Aaron from under his lashes. “You came in looking like that and the first thing I could think of was getting your hands on my body or your dick in my mouth, whichever comes first, really.”

Aaron smirked. “Looking like what, Alex? I’m a mess, just come from the office.” He leaned down and pressed his mouth to Alex’s jaw. “Are you really that desperate, that needy, you can’t go a full day without me?”

“I’m not desperate,” Alex said, licking his lip. He ground his hips against Aaron’s thigh, trying to get some friction. “You’re just, ah, really, really attractive.” Aaron pressed closer, and Alex let out a high-pitched whine.

He chuckled and kissed the side of Alex’s throat. “Not desperate you say.” Aaron let go of one of Alex’s wrist and reached down to cup Alex’s hard cock through fabric in his hand. “And yet.”

“Please,” Alex moaned, pushing into his hand. “It won’t take long, I promise. Just touch me.”

Aaron bit down on Alex’s neck, a sort of pride filling his chest at the sound that left Alex’s mouth. He undid the button and zipper of Alex’s pants. Aaron licked a strip up his palm and started to stroke Alex’s length, hot and thick in his hand.

“Ah, ah, Aaron, please, I’m close.”

He swiped his thumb over the head of Alex’s cock. “Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

Alex nodded, “yes, oh, yes.”


	12. I think you’re self destructing. And you’re taking me down with you.

It was a pattern he recognized. Aaron had been at Alexander’s side for years through thick and through thin, but this was the first time he had seen it taken to such an extreme.

He took in a deep breath and shut the door, focusing on the click as he prepared himself for what was sure to be a wreckage. The sound of fingers on keys filling the room didn’t cease, and Aaron forced his shoulders to relax. The air was thick with electricity - had been for weeks - and Aaron knew something could spark it at any moment, the tension thick.

Aaron turned around and walked toward Alexander’s desk. Alexander showed no sign of noticing him, and Aaron knocked his knuckled on the wood. Three times, a single second between each knock.

Alexander froze and looked up, eyes wide and hair frizzing out around his head in a mockery of a halo. “What do you want?” Alexander’s voice was hoarse.

“I want to help you.”

Alexander turned back to his computer screen, movement sharp. “I don’t need help.”

Aaron sighed and leaned forward to place his hand on Alexander’s shoulder, causing the man to freeze. “Yes, you do. You don’t want it, but I’m going to force it upon you should it be necessary.”

He lifted his hand a centimeter and Alexander pushed away from him, kicking the chair away and backing himself into the corner of the office. “You told me you’d never do that.”

He nodded and folded his hands behind his back. “Yes.”

Alexander’s eyes were wide and the tension in the room grew thicker. “You lied.”

“Yes.” He stepped closer to Alexander, moving around the desk. “I meant it at the time, but desperate situations call for certain actions.”

“No, no,” Alexander shook his head, hair-halo flying. Aaron felt the static moving along his skin. “You can’t do that.”

He took another step forward, slow and careful. “It’s the only thing I can do.”

“No!” Alexander yelled, bringing his hands up and pushing his hair back. “You can’t! You made me stop! I can’t stop, I have to keep going, keeping pushing forward. If I stay still I am nothing, I do nothing I become nothing. Why would you do that?”

Aaron shook his head. “You could never become nothing, there is too much inside of you. This is for your own good, Alexander.”

Alexander was quick, and the only reason Aaron wasn’t lying flat out on the ground was that he was prepared. The white lightning burst of electricity shined in the air between them, both of their arms reached out toward it. It was a battle of wills, like so many things with them were. 

Alexander’s eyes shone with tears. “How can you say that? If I stop, if I let myself lose focus, it all crashed around me.” Alex slid down the wall, knees against his chest. “I can’t let that happen.”

The light faded and the bolt fell away, the electricity still crackling. “Alexander,” Aaron said. “I think you’re self-destructing.”

Alexander shook his head, “No, no, I can’t be. John wouldn’t want that.”

“You’re right, he wouldn’t want that.” Aaron crouched down in front of Alexander. “And yet you are, and you’re taking me down with you.”

Silent tears ran down Alexander’s cheeks. “But, but-”

Aaron reached out a hand to rest on Alexander’s knee. “When was the last time you stopped to rest?”

Alexander blinked at him and said nothing.

“That’s answer enough.” Aaron reached forward, slow and obvious with his movements. He brought his hand up to hover above Alexander’s forehead. “You need to stop, rest, take a breather.” 

Alexander pushed back into the wall.

He remained still. “I’m not going to force this on you.”

“You say that,” Alexander said, looking to the side. “But isn’t that what you just did?”

Aaron shrugged. “It was for a single second, just to catch your attention.” He raised a brow. “You feel better though, don’t you? It broke the connection, the electricity isn’t flowing quite as strongly, right?”

Alexander nodded, and turned his head and pressed his cheek into Aaron’s hand. “Please.”

“Are you sure?”

Soft lips were pressed to his palm. “Yes.”

Aaron forced the feeling through his fingers, and Alexander slumped forward against him. He sighed and pressed a kiss to Alexander’s hair. “It’ll be better,” he whispered to no one, “you’ll get better.”

The electricity in the room cleared as soon as Alexander fell under, and Aaron felt he could breathe again. He pressed another kiss to Alexander’s hair.


	13. I don’t care what anyone else thinks

“We can’t do this,” Aaron said, his hands squeezing Alexander’s hips, tilting his head to the side to make room for Alexander’s lips on his neck.

Alexander bit down on the junction of neck and shoulder and Aaron groaned. A chuckle filled his ear, rich and familiar. “Why not?” Alexander asked. “You’re the one who started it.”

“People are going to find out,” he bit out. Aaron brought his hand up to take Alexander’s hair out of its ponytail. He grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled. Alexander moaned and pushed closer to Aaron, pressing him flat against the door. “Can you imagine the rumors? My wife just died and I come crawling back to you.” 

Alexander stepped away and looked at him, pupils blown wide but eyes still serious. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” he said. Alexander’s hands came up to his tie. Alexander yanked on it and quirked his brow.

“But I do,” Aaron said, even as he nodded. His tie was undone and tossed to the floor, and Alexander made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. They were in the office, and Aaron knew Alexander had an appointment soon. 

It was a terrible idea, but Aaron tilted forward to catch Alexander’s lips in a kiss, biting down as he pulled away. 

“Do you care enough to stop?” Alexander asked.

Aaron shook his head, and Alexander’s hands went to his belt.


	14. I can’t sleep, can I stay here?

Late nights were something Aaron had become very familiar with long ago, and Alexander had been at his side for most of the more recent ones. 

He looked up and stared into the flame of a nearby candle. It was all to easy to become entranced by such a thing, and Aaron let himself fall into it - the break much needed. An eternity could have passed just the same as a second.

Aaron pulled away from the dancing flame and focused back in on his surroundings. The scratch of a quill was there - something that had become a near-constant in Aaron’s life. It was coming from Alexander’s desk, as it always was. The man was hunched over, pieces of hair loose from his queue and falling into his face.

The night was dark outside their windows. Much too late. Aaron stood up, taking the opportunity to stretch and roll his shoulders. He walked over and knocked his knuckles against the wood of Alexander’s desk, the sound unexpected and much too loud sounding.

Alexander startled, hand freezing and eyes going wide as he looked up at Aaron. “Burr,” he said. “What do you want?”

“It’s getting late.” 

“I see,” Alexander said. Aaron looked down at Alexander’s desk, there were papers spread all over. The usual mess that made sense to no one but Alexander, and sometimes not even then. “I’m working on something.”

Aaron nodded. “I see that. It can probably wait until morning, and it’s best to get at least some sleep.”

“No, I won’t be able to,” Alexander said, shaking his head. He raised his quill again. “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?” Alexander looked down and Aaron heard him mutter, “why am I even asking?”

Aaron looked at Alexander for a moment, messy hair and already dark circles signalling that Alexander was in one of his frenzied states that had become more and more frequent as of late. He sighed and nodded to himself before saying, “yes, you can stay.”

Alexander froze again. “Thank you.”

He reached forward to place his hand on Alexander’s shoulder and squeezed. “Would you like me to stay with you?” he asked.

“Yes,” Alexander looked up at him, the hint of a smile showing. “I’d like that.”


	15. Omnia vincit amor; et nos cedamus amori. Love conquers all; let us too yield to love.

Of all the people Aaron expected to find waiting in his tent, he supposed Alexander should have been at the top of that list.

He shut the flap of the tent closed behind him and stepped forward, reaching for Alexander’s outstretched hand. “What are you doing here?” 

Alexander smiled up at him, visible by the light of the candle, and said, “to see you, of course.”

It was a familiar ache in Aaron’s cheeks when he smiled back, and he joined Alexander on the cot, their thighs brushing together. Aaron looked down at their entwined fingers - a perfect fit. “How have you been holding up? I know Washington keeps you busy.”

“Being busy is preferable to being idle,” Alexander said, moving to lie his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Alexander squeezed his hand. “Much preferable, it’s a distraction from all of this. And a good one, I’d say.”

Aaron nodded. “Of course.”

“You know,” Alexander started. “Want to know what would be an even better distraction?” Soft lips pressed to the sensitive skin of his neck. 

“Oh?” He chuckled and raised his free hand to play with the end of Alexander’s braid. “What would be an even better distraction?” 

Alexander pulled his head away and looked up at him, eyes sparkling with the typical mischief. “You,” he said, smiling.

“Hmmmm,” Aaron dipped his head down, his breath ghosting over Alexander’s lips. “I might be able to do something about that.” He pressed his lips to Alexander’s, closing his eyes and melting into the familiar, sweet touch.


	16. I’ve wanted this for so long

Aaron had never let himself believe that he was that great of a person. He knew he kept people at a distance, knew that he had an issue with seeing people as a means rather than an end. He tried to be good - better. He did the best of his family and tried to push down the parts of him that wanted more than he had.

It was late, and Aaron was downing a glass of water when he heard three sharp knocks on the door. He set the glass down on the kitchen counter and walked toward the door.

Aaron looked through the peep-hole and saw the distorted face of Alexander Hamilton looking back at him. Aaron sighed and stepped back to open the door.

He closed the door behind Alexander and took the man in - hair a mess, dark circles more intense than ever, shirt untucked and wrinkled. “You look terrible,” he said.

“Getting right into it, aren’t you,” Alexander responded, voice flat. “Your manners are impeccable.”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

Alexander shrugged and asked, “what’s your point?”

Aaron shook his head and sighed. “Why are you here?” he asked.

“Uh,” Alexander started, looking to the side. “Eliza kicked me out.”

Aaron blinked. “Why?”

“She, uh-” Alexander’s hand came up to scratch at his ear. “-found out that I was cheating on her.”

It was funny, sometimes, how eyes wandered and Aaron’s eyes had been wandering to Alexander for a very long time now. Aaron swallowed, trying to keep his thoughts from going down that path. Alexander’s obvious love for Eliza had served as a good mental block for so long, but now? Now that barrier was gone. Aaron licked his lips and turned away from Alexander and asked, “so you came here?”

Alexander nodded “I figured it was worth a shot. Could I sleep on your couch or something?”

“Fine,” Aaron said. He lead Alexander to the living room. “I’ll get you pillows and stuff.”

The extra blankets were kept in a closet in the hallway, and Aaron used the short time he had gathering everything to think. His wife was sleeping in their bed, his daughter was asleep in the room right across from him, and Alexander was waiting for him in the living room. He took in a deep breath as he turned back toward the living room. It’d be fine. He’d go back to bed and wrap his arms around his wife and forget all about Alexander sleeping such a short distance away. Alexander who had no problem sleeping with people other than his wife. 

The pillows were piled high in his arms, blocking his view. Just as Aaron walked toward Alexander, his toe caught on the edge of the carpet and he lurched forward, falling straight into Alexander’s unsuspecting lap. 

Alexander looked down at him. “Are you okay?”

Aaron nodded and moved to stand up. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I tripped.” He looked at the things strewn across the floor. “Here’s everything.”

“Thanks,” Alexander said. He seemed to hesitate a moment, but reached his hand out to grab Aaron’s wrist. “Thanks for this, seriously. You didn’t have to. You were just the first person I thought of, and-”

Aaron covered Alexander’s hand with his mouth. “Shut up. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” The quicker Alexander shut up the quicker he could go back to his own room and the quicker he could forget what Alexander felt like under him for the brief moment. 

Alexander looked up at him, and after a moment, Aaron pulled his hand away. “Good night, Alexander,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Aaron…” 

“What?” Aaron turned to the hallway, pulling his wrist from Alexander’s grip.

Another moment passed. “Stay,” Alexander said. “Please?”

Aaron froze. 

“It’s just,” Alexander said. “Eliza kicked me out and I don’t know what to do and you’re here and I don’t want to be alone. I can’t be alone, that’s why it happened in the first place. She left with the kids for vacation and I couldn’t go because I was working and it was so long and then Maria was there and it was so easy-”

“Shut up,” Aaron said. “I don’t want to here about why you cheated on your wife.” Maria was there. Aaron could have been there. It could have been him.

“But-”

Aaron shook his head. “No buts,” he said. “I’m not sleeping with you on my couch in the middle of the living room while my wife and child are on the other side of that wall because you don’t know how to be alone.” His tone was biting by the end of it. It had to be. Alexander was right in front of him begging him to stay and Aaron had to be strong. He wouldn’t allow himself to ruin his own life the way Alexander had done.

Alexander bit down on his lower lip, and Aaron’s eyes couldn’t help but dart down. It was sudden, but the next thing Aaron new were the feeling the Alexander’s hands on either side of his face and soft lips pressed against his.

His hand went to Alexander’s hair as if on auto-pilot, and Aaron pressed into the kiss, mind going blank of anything but Alexander. 

Alexander pulled away, lips shiny. “Please,” he said. “I’ve wanted this for so long, please, don’t go.” 

Aaron’s mind cleared, and he shook his head, stepping away from Alexander. It hurt, going against what he had wanted so much for so long. “No,” he said. “No.”

“Aaron-”

“No,” he repeated. “I’m going to go back to my wife, and you’re going to stay here because I’m not terrible enough to make you go find someone’s else couch to sleep on.”

Aaron could see something shatter in Alexander’s eyes, and he felt the same ache in his own chest. “Good night, Alexander,” he said.


	17. I didn’t like you anyway.

Aaron could tell that Alex was in a bad way. It didn’t take a genius. Alex had been on a downward spiral since Eliza kicked him out. His hair was greasy, his clothing unkempt, his under eye circles the darkest they’d been since grad school, but the smell of alcohol on his breath was the most obvious sign of the extent of it.

“Alexander,” Aaron said, voice even. 

“Aaron Burr, sir!” Alexander shouted, leaning against the door frame. “I find tha-that I need assis-help. I need help.”

“That much is obvious.” Aaron stepped to the side to let Alexander into his office. It was seven, most people were gone, and it was obvious that Alexander had started drinking hours ago. “Please tell me that you left work early and went to a bar and don’t keep your office stocked.”

Alexander fell into Aaron’s desk chair with a huff. “Whuz it matter?”

“Professionalism is a thing that exists.” Aaron sat down on his desk in lieu of a chair, and reached behind him to close the laptop. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Alexander said with a sigh. “I do not know.” 

Aaron crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward, getting a good look at the man in front of him. The handsome man who stole the room’s attention with his obvious intelligence and brash personality was nowhere to be seen. 

“I can’t help you,” he said. “You have to help yourself.”

Alexander tilted his head to the side. “We dated once. I just wanted to suck your dick, but we ended up dating.”

Aaron shifted, but nodded and said, “Yes, we did. And now we’re not.” 

“I’m happy we’re not dating,” Alexander said, smiling. “Because then I wouldn’t have Betsey. I love her, you know. She’s perfect. My angel. The kids are great.” 

“Eliza is a wonderful woman,” Aaron agreed. “And then you went and shattered her heart.”

Alexander pouted. “Why’d we stop dating?”

“It didn’t work out,” Aaron said. “You thought I didn’t care enough, and I didn’t like you anyway. Not like that, at least.”

“I need help,” Alexander said, eyes wide and pleading.

“Yes, you do.” Aaron hopped off the desk. “But before we get into that, you need to sober up.” 

Alexander leaned forward and placed his hands on Aaron’s knees. “Burr, will you kiss me? I haven’t been kissed in so long. I want a kiss.”

“No.” Aaron brushed a piece of hair behind Alexander’s ear. It wasn’t easy seeing him like this. 

“Please?”

Aaron sighed, but leaned down and pressed his lips to Alexander’s forehead. “There,” he said, pulling away. “Now, let’s go.”

Alexander’s brows furrowed together. “Go where?”

“My apartment. You need a shower.”


	18. is that my shirt?

Aaron supposed that he should have expected something like this to happen. If Alexander was anything, it was vain, and they both knew just how that color brought out Alexander’s eyes.

He walked over to Alexander, their elbows knocking together as Aaron leaned against the wall at Alexander’s side. “Good morning,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Alexander raised a groomed brow. “Good morning, Mr. Burr, sir.”

Aaron shook his head as he laughed to himself. “I have a question for you.”

“And what would that question be?”

He took a quick look around and, seeing nobody there, leaned over to whisper in Alexander’s ear. “Is that my shirt?” he asked.

“Perhaps,” Alexander said, small smirk playing at his lips. “What’s it to you?”

“I think I like you in my clothes,” Aaron said. He leaned back and stepped away, amusement dancing in his chest. “I’ll see you around.”

Alexander’s eyes were wide. “Burr, you can’t just-”

Aaron waved as he turned the corner, knowing that Alexander was sure to pay him a visit at some point during the day.


	19. I need no king

Aaron didn’t know what made him do it, but something had urged him to bring the young man into his carriage. 

“What’s you name?” he asked, for perhaps the fourth time.

“I’ve told you,” the young man said. “It doesn’t matter who I am, all that matters is that I have somewhere to be and you’re riding in the opposite direction.”

Aaron raised a brow. “Do you know how I am?” 

“No,” the man spat out. “And it doesn’t matter, because you’re taking me the opposite direction of where I need to be going.”

“What’s so important in the opposite direction?” Aaron asked.

The man straightened his shoulders. “College. I got a scholarship, and I’m intent on following through with it.”

“Oh, you’re not going to King’s, are you?” 

“Why does it matter?”

Aaron snorted. “King’s is terrible,” he said, laughing. “Everyone knows that the only people that go there are those too dumb to get a proper education or those too poor…”

The man’s glare intensified. 

“Oh,” Aaron said. He turned to look out the window, the regret at his spontaneous decision becoming overwhelming.

The stranger didn’t speak a word, but the disapproval was oozing off of him.

Aaron cleared his throat. “I’m the King, you know,” he said. He didn’t know why it even mattered at this point, just as he didn’t know why all the years of training of manners and decorum were gone. The instincts he had fallen back on for his entire life were nowhere to be seen.

It was the stranger’s turn to snort, the derision coming form the sound would be enough to get him thrown in jail in any other context. “I need no King.”

Aaron swallowed. “You’re coming with me to the palace,” he said, not knowing where the words were coming from. “You’ll rest and regain your strength for the upcoming week, you’ve been travelling. The rest will do nothing but help you, and should you still desire it, we’ll send you off to King’s. You’ll find no trouble for your timing if you have a letter bearing my seal.”

“Why would I want to spend a week at the palace?” the man asked.

Aaron lifted his chin. “Because I want you to.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure.”


	20. I Know, I Know - I'm Supposed To Be Dead

Of all the people Aaron Burr might have expected to find knocking on the door of the room he had rented under a false name, Alexander Hamilton was the absolute last.

The shock must have shown on his face, because Hamilton pushed past him into the room, muttering, “I know, I know - I’m supposed to be dead.”

Aaron shut the door and turned around the face Hamilton. “I shot you.”

Hamilton wasn’t looking at him, instead taking in the room with his hands clasped behind his back. “Yes,” he said. “Nasty shot too.”

“How-”

“How am I alive?” Hamilton asked, turning around and backing him against the door. “How am I walking?”

“Yes,” Aaron breathed out. “That. How?”

Hamilton pressed even closer. “I don’t know,” he said, eyes sparkling, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “I don’t have a damned clue.”

Aaron swallowed, overwhelmed by the entire situation. The wood of the door was hard against his back and Hamilton was warm against his front, everything he had ever wanted and had long ago resigned himself to never having.

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying to gather himself. He couldn’t. It was stupid to try. Every breath he took in flooded his senses with Hamilton - Hamilton who was meant to be dead. The same Hamilton that he had shot. 

“I don’t have a damned clue,” Hamilton said, smile stretching across his face. “But I do know what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

Hamilton’s hands went to Aaron’s chest. “I want to kiss you, and then I want you to fuck me on that bed over there,” he said. He tilted his chin up, going on his toes, his breath ghosting over Aaron’s lips. “Tomorrow we can face the world, but certain death makes you realize certain things about yourself.”

“Oh?”

“Do you want to know what I realized, Burr?” 

Aaron’s hands went to Hamilton’s hips and he nodded, his lips still not quite touching Hamilton’s. It was maddening.

“I realized,” Hamilton said. “That I’ve wanted you for years. For some goddamn reason, you’re the one thing I never let myself have.”

It was too much. It was everything that Aaron had wanted to hear for so long. “And?”

“And I’m not going to waste a second chance.”


	21. This isn't just about you, it's about what's best for all of us

Aaron took in a deep breath and ran his hand down the front of his coat. He was wasting time and he knew it, trying his best to delay the inevitable. 

He didn’t bother knocking when he walked in, making sure the door shut behind him.

Alex looked up, startled. “Aaron!” he said. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Aaron nodded. “Sorry about that.”

It had taken him five tries to step over the threshold. Cancelled and re-scheduled plans would only make this worse. It was already going to be bad. He sat down, staying perched on the edge of the seat. He couldn’t grow comfortable, couldn’t let this hang between them.

“So,” Alex said. “What’s up?”

Aaron rubbed his palms down his thighs. “Before I get too into it, I want you to know that this is’t just about you, it’s about what’s best for all of us.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed.

Aaron took in a breath. “I don’t…I don’t think we should work together anymore.”

“What?!” Alex asked, eyes wide and mouth dropping open. “What the fuck do you mean you don’t think we should work together anymore.”

“It’s not appropriate.” 

That was too much. Aaron sucked in a breath through his teeth and looked to the side, too aware of Alex in the corner of his eye. Alex was going to dig into that. 

“What’s not appropriate about it?” Alex asked, a current of anger underlying the words. “We’ve worked together for years! What’s changed?”

Aaron curled his hands into fists. “Nothing that you’ve done.”

It was everything Alex had done. Every tired sigh, every gasp as he figured something out, every moment filled with words. Alex had wormed his way into Aaron’s heart. He had invaded Aaron’s mind - dreams, thoughts of Alex never leaving him even after hours and days apart from one another.

“Then what is it?” Alex slammed his hand down on his desk. “Did you get an offer?”

Aaron shook his head. “No,” he breathed out. “I didn’t get an offer.”

He heard the chair scrape on the floor as Alex stood up, and a moment later Alex was standing directly in front of him, one of the buttons on his shirt at perfect eye-level. Aaron inhaled through his nose, breathing in the scent of Alex’s cologne for what could be the last time. What should be the last time, for the best. 

“Look at me, Burr,” Alex said, hard edge still there.

Aaron looked up. There was a fire burning in Alex’s eyes, and god did Aaron  _want_.

“Why?” Alex asked. “This is coming from nowhere. I might accept it had I any idea it was coming. There’s no reason for this!”

“There is very much a reason for this,” Aaron countered.

Alex crossed his arms over his chest. “Then tell me”

“No.”

Alex bent down, bringing their faces closer together. Aaron licked his lips. Alex bent closer. “I deserve to know why a man I consider to be a close friend is deciding we can’t work together anymore.”

The excuses Aaron had prepared were nowhere to be found. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. 

“I deserve to know,” Alex repeated.

Aaron nodded. “You do.”

Alex’s eyes were bright and shining and oh so  _beautiful_. Aaron curled his hands tighter, wishing for a second that his nails were longer so he could feel the press of them against his skin and have it be enough to focus on. Instead, his mind wandered down the familiar and dangerous path of what it’d be like to feel Alex’s lips on his.

His eyes darted down to Alex’s lips, unable to help himself. It was his last chance. Alex was one to hold a grudge, after all. There’d be no coming back from this.

 _Actions rather than words_. 

It was something Aaron had heard Alex mutter to himself more than once, late at night when Alex was only somewhat aware of his surroundings.

Aaron took in a deep breath and looked back up to meet Alex’s gaze. It was still as intense, just as searching. 

This would be his only chance.

Aaron moved slowly and with purpose. He straightened his spine and tilted his chin up, just enough that only an inch or two of space separated his face from Alex’s. 

Closing the distance was something Aaron had dreamed of countless times.

It felt natural, felt right. The soft press of Alex’s lips to his was everything he had thought it would be. 

Aaron didn’t know if it hurt more knowing or if he had made the right choice in granting himself this. 

He pulled away, unable to breath.

“Aaron?” Alex asked, voice as soft as Aaron had ever heard it.

“And now you know,” Aaron said. He stood up and turned around, his back to Alex. He couldn’t get his feet to move. He was frozen in place. Not wanting to leave, unable to turn and face the man who had become his focus for so long.

“Why didn’t you-”

“Good bye, Alexander,” Aaron interrupted. 

Alex’s words were his gift, and Aaron couldn’t let Alex start. It would spell his ruin if he did. 

He took a step forward - a painful step, feeling like it lasted an age - and soon the same door he had entered through clicked shut behind him.

Alex had a beautiful wife and a brilliant son. Aaron would break his own heart before he took that away. 


	22. Everything about your life makes so much sense now.

It wasn’t supposed to happen. Aaron knew it wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to be here, wasn’t meant to be the one to walk in on Alexander hunched over a trashcan in the corner of his office late on a Thursday night. 

Aaron had forgotten his coat - it had happened before, the convenient hook by the door too easy to forget to go back to when the evening air was still warm. He would have left it, he’d done it before, but he was taking it to get dry cleaned the next morning and if he didn’t grab it now it would remain filthy for an indefinite amount of time. 

He had shut his door behind him, his coat thrown over his arm, when he heard a faint sound. No one else was supposed to be here. 

Aaron took a cautious step down the hall toward the sound, all too aware of the thousands of ways this could go wrong. It’d be better to leave it for the next morning, but there was something in him that kept pushing him forward no matter how much his brain was yelling at him to leave and forget about it.

It was coming from Alexander’s office, and Aaron’s worry grew when he turned the handle and found it unlocked. Alexander was known to work late but this…this was ridiculous. He pushed the door open the slightest bit and cleared his throat to announce his presence - the sound was gone now, heavy breathing in its place. 

There was a low moan in response, and Aaron opened the door the rest of the way. He made a low sound of surprise when he saw Alexander kneeling on the floor, hanging onto his trash can for dear life. 

He had expected to find Alexander fucking some cleaning woman over his desk before he had expected this. 

Aaron set the coat down on one of the chairs and rushed forward, moving to kneel at Alexander’s side. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, keeping his voice down. “Are you okay? Do you need me to call Eliza? Take you to the hospital? What are you doing here anyway?” 

Alexander looked up, face pale and eyes glassy, and said, “Burr, what are you doing here? I think that’s the better question.”

Aaron nodded his head toward the coat on the chair. “I forgot my jacket,” he said. He brought his hand up to the space between Alexander’s shoulders and began to rub in a soothing motion. “What happened? Do you think you can make it home?” 

Instead of answering, Alexander groaned and bent over the trashcan again. A moment later, he looked up and wiped his hand on his sleeve. Aaron couldn’t keep back his grimace and Alexander snorted.

“It shouldn’t last much longer,” Alexander said. “It was a late dinner, is all. I would have gone home, but I needed to finish something up. Figured I’d be able to make it home before it set in. I was wrong.”

“Food poisoning?” Aaron asked, still rubbing Alexander’s back.

Alexander shook his head. “Shellfish allergy,” he said.

“Why did you eat shellfish if you know you’re allergic to it?” Aaron couldn’t quite keep the judgmental tone from his voice, but considering the circumstances he thought it forgivable.

“Dinner with Washington and Jefferson,” Alexander said. “Seafood restaurant. Jefferson ordered oysters, made some comment about how he could teach me to eat them if I needed.” 

“You-you ate something that you’re allergic to to prove Jefferson wrong?” Aaron asked, tone incredulous.

Alexander narrowed his eyes. “What about it?” 

Aaron sighed. “Everything about your life makes so much sense now.”

“Thanks,” Alexander said. A moment passed and he relaxed a little bit, some of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders. “I think most of it’s past now. You caught the end of it.”

“Alright.” Aaron nodded. He stood up. “How about you take care of that-” he pointed to the trashcan- “and I’ll go get you some water to drink and we’ll get you home?”

“Fine,” Alexander said. “Thanks, Burr.”

Aaron shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”


	23. you're supposed to be dead

Aaron reached his hand under his pillow and curled his fingers around the familiar grip of the gun. 

Another creak sounded through the house, followed by a muffled curse. The muttering had Aaron’s heart seizing in his chest. It didn’t matter. He tightened his grip and sat up, careful as to not make a sound. 

No one was supposed to find him here, not after he had worked so hard and so long to stay hidden. He needed to figure out whoever was here, find out why they were here - how they’d found him. And then he needed to kill them. Simple.

Aaron inhaled deep through his nose and turned all of his attention toward the door. The creaks were coming closer. Whoever was here was taking their time - time that could be used to share information, strategize, plant something. Aaron stood up, taking care to keep the spread of his weight even. 

There were a dozen names running through his mind - Jefferson’s administration making up most of them - but the absolute last person Aaron expected to see when his bedroom door pushed open was Alexander Hamilton.

In his shock, Aaron lowered the gun.

Alexander’s eyes - beautiful, shining just as bright as they always had, glimmering with some sort of secret ambition of his - were wide. 

“You’re supposed to be dead,” Alexander said, words coming out broken. God, even his voice - so different from how Aaron remembered it as usually being - was enough to have something curl in Aaron’s chest, a sob wanting to tear its way through his throat. “You-you…they told me you were dead!”

The anger was familiar. Alexander’s shock was gone, replaced with anger - he’d always been so quick to switch between the two, always so offended when anyone managed to surprise him. 

“They told me it’d be an easy job today,” Alexander said. “They gave me an address and told me to kill whoever was inside. They said I shouldn’t have any issues with it. I was expecting someone who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

The look on Alexander’s face was one that Aaron had seen time and time again, had memorized it even, traced it over in his dreams - Alexander had always been so beautiful when going against those he opposed. It might have always itched at Aaron the wrong way, the confrontation, but even that wasn’t enough to stop Aaron from admiring the work of art that a passionate Alexander was.

“They told me you were dead,” Alexander spit out, stalking forward. “They told me they had you taken out after they saw you shoot me! You shot me! And then you were dead! I’ve had to live with knowing it was all a lie, having no closure! And you’ve been here this entire time!”

Aaron swallowed around the lump in his throat. 

Alexander was so close now, Aaron could reach out and touch him. He could let go of the gun in his hand and put his hand out and brush Alexander’s skin. The desire - the want, the need - to do so was near unimaginable. 

“You said you loved me,” Alexander whispered, and such a soft sound from such an angry man was enough to shock Aaron into really paying attention. “You said you loved me and then they told me you were the one who shot me. Do you understand what that did to me? What I’ve had to live with?”

Even with everything that had been building within him during those months, Aaron had made sure his last words to Alexander were those of love, of genuine affection.

Looking at Alexander now - so much thinner than he had ever looked while Aaron knew him, face narrow and harsh, hair cut short to his scalp, clothes ripped and torn - perhaps that had been a mistake. 

Aaron set the gun to the side, slow and steady in his movement, too aware of Alexander’s sudden tension at the break from his stillness. 

He looked up at Alexander, ran his tongue over his lips, and made sure to meet Alexander’s eyes. There was a gun fixed on him, aimed right between his eyes. Alexander was angry, and this would make it worse. 

“Alexander,” Aaron said, lips forming the name for the first time in years. “I did love you, I still do.”

A moment of stillness, Alexander’s eyes boring into his own, still burning with fury.

It wasn’t surprising that Alexander pulled the trigger. 

What was surprising was the sound of the second shot that Aaron didn’t hear, followed by a body falling to the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to come pester me at my [tumblr](http://ashilrak.tumblr.com)! :^))
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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